LazyHaze: Year One

Dear Visitor,

If you have accidentally stumbled upon this blog, do not expect anything more than shameful self centered soul searching and morbid self pity.

If you are into this stuff, expect more questions than answers.

You have been warned. Continue at your peril.

So….Hi, I might be the laziest person in the world. You see, I wasn’t always this way. I have lost the zeal for life.

Why should one live in the first place? Why am I programmed with this competitive urge to be better than others? Why must I prove myself repeatedly to retain some sense of self? When death is the one ultimate absolute to life. All the mundane things I do seem, well, inane.

Tried religion and spirituality. Stuff helps with inner peace. Bhagavatgita, a manual on how to live successfully says, do your duty impartially, without thought to the fruits of your labor. Pretty good advice. However, it doesn’t address my problem. Religion is primarily aimed at people who wish to make something of their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I like religion. It helps keep our minds off death with a torture and rewards program tacked on to afterlife. Perhaps our puny minds need that to keep from self destructing. I don’t have enough life experience to draw a definitive conclusion.

Perhaps, just perhaps, there is no purpose to our existence. It is a devastating truth to be confronted by someone raised on wholesome Disney. After some reflection, I feel a profound sense of relief. If there is no set destiny, then its all up to me. I get to define my purpose. This unfortunately puts the onus squarely on my shoulders. What a crushing responsibility. Just the thought inevitably leads to binge watching the latest Netflix produced super hero series. Escapism is addictive.

Well for now that is where I’m stuck in this thought process. Figured some blogging, the definitive soul cleansing tool of my generation, might help clear this block.

Love,

Selfdestructo

PS: I used the the word ‘I’ 14 times in this post and I was jobless enough to count. Hence the name, lazyhaze.

PS2: Year one is a batman reference, just in case a curious soul wonders!