LazyHaze: Year One

Dear Visitor,

If you have accidentally stumbled upon this blog, do not expect anything more than shameful self centered soul searching and morbid self pity.

If you are into this stuff, expect more questions than answers.

You have been warned. Continue at your peril.

So….Hi, I might be the laziest person in the world. You see, I wasn’t always this way. I have lost the zeal for life.

Why should one live in the first place? Why am I programmed with this competitive urge to be better than others? Why must I prove myself repeatedly to retain some sense of self? When death is the one ultimate absolute to life. All the mundane things I do seem, well, inane.

Tried religion and spirituality. Stuff helps with inner peace. Bhagavatgita, a manual on how to live successfully says, do your duty impartially, without thought to the fruits of your labor. Pretty good advice. However, it doesn’t address my problem. Religion is primarily aimed at people who wish to make something of their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I like religion. It helps keep our minds off death with a torture and rewards program tacked on to afterlife. Perhaps our puny minds need that to keep from self destructing. I don’t have enough life experience to draw a definitive conclusion.

Perhaps, just perhaps, there is no purpose to our existence. It is a devastating truth to be confronted by someone raised on wholesome Disney. After some reflection, I feel a profound sense of relief. If there is no set destiny, then its all up to me. I get to define my purpose. This unfortunately puts the onus squarely on my shoulders. What a crushing responsibility. Just the thought inevitably leads to binge watching the latest Netflix produced super hero series. Escapism is addictive.

Well for now that is where I’m stuck in this thought process. Figured some blogging, the definitive soul cleansing tool of my generation, might help clear this block.



PS: I used the the word ‘I’ 14 times in this post and I was jobless enough to count. Hence the name, lazyhaze.

PS2: Year one is a batman reference, just in case a curious soul wonders!

Hard Choices


In the current partisan climate it is necessary to pre-defend our opinions, lest they be attacked. So, here are my credentials – a first time voter and second generation immigrant, trying to make sense of the sea of news and misinformation out there, to make an informed choice. Just so you guys know, being neither a writer nor an avid political enthusiast, I am not qualified to write this piece. I just feel the need to, and thanks to this blog I can scratch this itch.

I started with Donald Trump as I wanted to keep an open mind and give him a fair shake. At first, the Trump narrative was compelling. He seemed to be in touch with concerns of the working class and hell bent upon bringing our elusive greatness back. However, his narrow and exclusionist views are repulsive and irrelevant to our current predicament. We are constantly on the hunt for ‘the other’ that is just too different to assimilate or understand and he has succeeded greatly at giving it a face or faces. After all, it is easier to attribute our troubles to this other entity instead of examining our own deficiencies and working together to overcome them. Besides, he has failed to articulate any of his policy positions clearly. Bombast and bravado are entertaining traits, but I think they will serve us poorly in the Oval office.

I had been putting off Hillary Clinton, because there is so much history there. I no longer have that luxury. The Clintons are fascinating and there are any number of articles about their personal and professional lives. However, it is very hard to discern much about Mrs. Clinton. She seems to inspire rather extreme reactions in the media, except for a few pieces like a CNN interview with Carl Bernstein. I’m distrustful of extremes and absolutes. The truth usually lies somewhere at the center.

I admit to being conflicted. Her accomplishments make her in President Obama’s words “the most qualified candidate ever”, yet her character has been under siege since the 70s. Some of the earlier criticisms like ‘Why won’t she change her last name to Clinton?’ seem silly now and the more recent ones about dishonesty, not so much. I am in no position to judge and the only thing to do is to rely on is my own impressions.

Hillary comes across as a very intelligent, capable and result oriented woman committed to the greater good, even if it takes questionable means and a lot of secret maneuvering to get there. Perhaps that is what it takes to prevail in the political arena and perhaps that makes me a cynic. I do not know. Twice, my fellow Americans elected President Obama, who is pure as untrodden snow compared to Hillary and twice, he failed to see many a legislation that was dear to us materialize.

Hillary breaths policy and eats scandal for breakfast. It is time to elect someone who has extensive experience and knows the system like the back of her hand. Besides, men were given forty four shots at this job, why not give women one. During these troubling times, we need wiser heads to prevail.

Note to self: Seek forgiveness from the gods of writing for this piece and keep using lest till it feels right.

Note to dissidents: Keep an open mind.